"Life is Never Flat," He Said

I love my life to be as flat as possible.

Like..

Everything will go as I wish, following my plan..

Not because I don't prepare to fail.

I do prepare to fail, I prepare how to act upon my failure. How to face it when that kind of time is coming.

But then again, life can be so tricky.

They can bend you here and there.

Even if you try to breakthrough the hole in your plan, life is just slip away like a flowing water.

Then again you stand, stand still. Feel like a fool, when all of your plan scarce everywhere, but no..

It is not because life do a bad thing to you,

Life just want to tell you that it will never flat, it never is.

That you can not just live it like a zombie.

That it is eventually a process to move from one to another crisis.

It is just like when you know how happy you are by being alone but at the same time you realize that you also a lil bit cold and lonely inside.

Then you choose that being alone is a better thing for you rather than stay with a bad companion.

You made it for so long, then life fucked you up again.

You fall in love with someone that you can not be with.

Or is it just like when you have your hopes high

When you decide that you will try as hard as you can to chasing your dream,

When the dream is so near in front of you,

That you put your everything on it,

But life just disagree and it feels like that life said "your good is not good enough"

You know what?

I will not surrender even if people going to understand why I want to.

I will not laid back until I learn something and gain more value for myself, for my future.

I know I know I know that every moment in this time anyone can knocked me down like before, but now I'm ready to crawl. I even ready to step back if that will make me jump further.

I want it. I want it as bad as I want to breathe.

If it is not happen tomorrow then I'll work it out to make it work in the near future.

I know I like my life to be as flat as possible.

But it already is not flat right now, then go on.

I will set myself curl.

I have what I need the most, that He is never leave me and I belive in His promise.

Come on break me down and punch me up.

I'm standing and fall but I'm ready to crawl.